.today's gratitude::III.

Today I am grateful. . .

. . . for family.
. . . for heritage.
. . . for history.
. . . for the legacies of loved ones whose lives were well lived.
. . . for seeing the smiles on loving faces in the midst of tears and heartache.
. . . for the reminder that life is too short to be consumed with ourselves.
. . . for the inspiration to live the best life possible.
. . . for the rainbow that greeted us after we said our final farewells.

.today's gratitude::II.

Today, I am grateful. . .

. . . for memories. All the good, and maybe not so much all the bad.
. . . for gentle whispers.
. . . for tender glances.
. . . for those moments when silence speaks volumes.
. . . for peace.

Words fail me this evening. A very special, most tenderhearted soul left this earth in the middle of the night, softly in her sleep. A most loving wife, mother and grandmother. A sweet, kind, and caring friend. We will miss you dearly Eliza Bell.

She openeth her mouth with wisdom;
and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
She looketh well to the ways of her household,
and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Her children arise up, and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praiseth her.
Many daughters have done virtuously,
but thou excellest them all.
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain:
but a woman that feareth the Lord,
she shall be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands;
and let her own works praise her
in the gates.
~Proverbs 31:26-31

.today's gratitude.

With Thanksgiving only a week away, I wanted to go ahead and start my list of things I am thankful for. So today, I am grateful. . .

. . . for new friends.
. . . for old friends.
. . . for new opportunities.
. . . for second chances.
. . . for hugs (both virtual and actual).
. . . for laughter.
. . . for encouragement.

Friends, today, I am grateful for you.

.a gift from within.

You give but little when you
give your possessions. It is
when you give of yourself
that you truly give.
~Kahlil Gibran

Anything that has real
and lasting value is
always a gift from
within.
~Franz Kafka

.i'm not pregnant, i'm just fat.

Okay, I realize that I had gained a substantial amount of weight right before, and during my pregnancy with my daughter. The excuse, "I just had a baby" went out the window about two years ago. I have always struggled with my weight. As a kid, I was always chubby, and was constantly reminded of it. There were times in elementary school when I'd be called "Fatty-Kathy" or "Fathryn." Kids can be so mean. I was never "obese" just, as my also horizontally challenged father would say, "pleasantly plump." When I started working full-time for a craft retailer, I slowly started to lose weight. Not that I was trying anything. Overtime I came to my all-time thinnest. I was 140 pounds when I first moved to Kentucky. 4 years later, and back in Tennessee, I am now 170 pounds. Thirty pounds. Doesn't sound like much. The problem has been trying to find a way to get rid of it. Lyposuction is NOT an option! ;o)

Honestly, I had been trying to "ignore" the fact that I no longer feel comfortable in this body. Awkward. That's the best way to describe how I feel. Awkward, because clothes never really seem to fit in the right spots. Boobs not big enough. Waist too wide. I am a squishy rectangle with a head, arms, and legs. It's hard enough when you struggle with your own self-image. It's even harder when a member of your hubby's family says on the phone, "I haven't seen you in a wee while. Are you still fat or have you gotten thin?" My response, "NO. I'm still fat." WTF?!

This is not quite the "happy" post I wanted to put up today. I guess I felt compelled to share a more vulnerable side of me. Vent maybe. If I could, I'd hire myself a personal "stylist" that way they could help me regain a sense of confidence with the figure and face that I've got, because right now, I just don't feel like it's good enough to see the light of day.

.untitled.

Here lately, I've been thinking a lot about Kentucky, specifically how much I'm actually missing it. I miss the drives to the small towns right outside of Lexington. I've been thinking about some of the specific things that I miss. The horse farms. Small grocers. Quaint coffee shops like The Hub in downtown Danville. The brick red walls covered in artwork by various local artists and photographers. Don't get me wrong, Nashville has a TON of coffee shops and cafés, but today, I miss this one.